just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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