It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
