We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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