Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
