I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
