Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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