i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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