Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
