There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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