no. you can't hotbox the world.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
