You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize