I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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