margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
