Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
