this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
