M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
