Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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