Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
