watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
