I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
