I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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