What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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