it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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