...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize