Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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