Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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