Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
