God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
