Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
