dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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