I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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