He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
