your thong is hanging out like whoa
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
