I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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