I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
