So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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