The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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