just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You can't just leave with hair like that
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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