That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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