He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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