why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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