He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
