i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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