I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize