Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
pop tarts are not kleenex
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Randomize
