so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
