I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"