And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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