i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
