I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
