"it" just moved
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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