Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
