I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
