You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
You dont lie about slip and slides
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
