He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
did you just send me my own nude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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