When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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