I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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