I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
