just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
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he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
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Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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