This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
