My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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