420 ftw
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
