Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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