he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
